It was so hard to say bye to the kids. Elsa kept yelling au revoir ra-ra. I cried. When I sat down with the family, they acted as if they had never done anything bad to me, I wasn't overworked and they wanted to work with me to find a common ground. I started to feel bad, especially with the kids all around. I really love those children, as bad as they all were. That job is over, I am pretty sure on that.
The DeRostolan's don't want me to give up on France, and have offered me Lucie's room until she returns from the states in July. As nice as they have been without a job, there is no way I could impose on them that much. They convinced me to go to the American Church tomorrow and look for English tutoring ads, but even with an income to pay them, I know the cost of living in Paris, and there is no way I could make that simply working a couple of hours a week as a tutor. I don't know what to do.
I have already let one family down, by quitting and leaving the way I did. I do not want to let another down. I know being an au pair is not the job for me. I am not sure about much of anything at this point. It's funny, I came to France trying to figure out what to do with my life, and I am now more confused than ever.
XOXO,
Mandy
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